


you're not dying

by littlealex



Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Crack, Gen, Genderswap, Remixed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-12
Updated: 2009-10-12
Packaged: 2017-10-12 07:17:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/122304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlealex/pseuds/littlealex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Remixed for jentfic_remix by maiaide <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/jentfic_remix/41492.html">here</a>.</p></blockquote>





	you're not dying

"NINO NINO HELP ME NINO!"

Nino wished sometimes that Aiba had a volume button, but now that he was a girl he wished more for a 'pitch' button. It had only been a week, but they'd all managed to get used to it while the Powers That Be tried to work on a solution to the problem of one of their employees waking up a different gender. Well, except for the shrieking.

"What is it Aiba," Nino drawled, smashing buttons on his DS furiously as a boss threatened to kill him for the third time. (He could stand two beatings, but the third always stung.)

"I'M DYING! COME IN HERE!"

Nino was pretty sure Aiba wasn't dying, of course, but he paused the game anyway and made his way to the ensuite bathroom of their green room. Aiba had insisted that their bathroom etiquette not change just because he was a girl, so the door wasn't locked and Nino tried to ignore the fact that Aiba was standing with his panties around his ankles and his dress hitched up under his breasts. (Sho insisted the pronouns were the most confusing side-effect of the whole ordeal, but Nino wasn't going to call Aiba a girl just because he had a vagina.)

"What's the matter?" Nino asked, dragging his eyes away from Aiba's unnaturally neat pubic hair to look at his friend.

"I'M BLEEDING!" Aiba wailed, completely distraught. "AND IT GOT IN MY UNDERWEAR, AND NOW MY UNDERWEAR IS RUINED!"

Nino wanted to tell Aiba firstly that he didn't need to continue shrieking now that he was in the bathroom. Then, he wanted to ask Aiba if he had ever taken a health class in his life. Instead, he rolled his eyes.

"Aiba, you're a girl now. You know what happens every month to a girl. Don't be so Carrie about it, you're not dying." Aiba blinked at the obscure reference and Nino rolled his eyes again. "It's called menstruation, dumbass."

"But what do I _do_?" Aiba asked, and though the volume and pitch had been dropped, it was replaced with the tone that said 'I am about to cry'.

"Well, I'd suggest soaking your underwear in the sink so that they don't stain, finding one of the tampons Jun bought in his fit of organized hysteria, and shoving it up your vagina so you don't leak clotted blood all over the place." What? It was a logical course of action.

"Nino, that's disgusting!" The pitch went way up and Nino closed his eyes and made placating 'okay, okay' hand movements.

"Fine, okay. You soak your underwear, I'll go find a tampon."

 _Why_ , Nino lamented as he went to the stash of feminine hygiene products Jun had bought, _am I the only one in the green room right now?_

When Nino returned to the bathroom, Aiba was scrubbing at his pink panties under a running tap. "It's still red," he whined as soon as Nino closed the door behind him.

"Just let them soak," Nino said, shoving the plug in the sink and steering Aiba back to the toilet. "Sit." When Aiba did, Nino handed him a tampon and an open instruction sheet. "There. Also, there was this, but I didn't know what it was. I thought I'd give it to you anyway." It was a little zip-lock bag with plastic sleeves the size and shape of a tampon. Maybe it was for old ones, but maybe it wasn't. He didn't really want to know.

"Finger sleeves!" Aiba said, and Nino thought it was a bit strange that he could come to the correct answer when he didn't even realize he was having his period. "That's brilliant!"

Nino supposed it was, but that was as much vagina talk as he could handle. "Awesome. Now, work it out."

By the time Nino had beaten the boss (after another, humiliating loss), Aiba was done, and halfway through the next level everyone else decided to grace the green room with their presence.

"What took you guys so long?" Nino grumbled as Ohno sat next to him, perching his chin on Nino's shoulder to watch the game.

"Sho stopped to get water," Jun said in a tone that suggested it had been the sole reason for their tardiness.

"I was thirsty, okay!" Sho protested as he made his way to the bathroom.

"We had an adventure while you were gone!" Aiba announced with a grin, very much over his fear of menstrual blood now that it was being held at bay.

His story, however, was stopped before it started, as Sho's voice bellowed from behind the closed bathroom door. "WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE BLOOD-STAINED PANTIES IN THE SINK?"

**Author's Note:**

> Remixed for jentfic_remix by maiaide [here](http://community.livejournal.com/jentfic_remix/41492.html).


End file.
